If you want any of the below furnished quotes to be your Wallpaper just send me an ENQUIRY. I will send you the picture.
# A drink a day keeps the shrink away
# A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
# Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth
# Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman
# Alcohol isn't the answer, but it makes 4get the question
# Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. So I always have Attitude
# Attitudes are more important than facts
# Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished
# Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS
# Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
# Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else
# Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
# Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, a good digestion and a good sleep
# Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone
# I always advise people never to give advice
# I can resist everything except temptation
# I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book
# I never think of the future - it comes soon enough
# I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'
# I wanted to kill the COOLEST person alive, but suicide is a crime!
# If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
# If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun
# I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
# I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already
# It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married
# I've always been good - good for nothing, or good for something.
# Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain
# My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend
# My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday
# Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
# One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory
# Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity
# The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
# There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly
# They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
# Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
# What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary
# When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror
# When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
# When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years
# When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
# Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife
# Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
# Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun